


Wake up, Steven

by fixylol



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drunkenness, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-12 05:50:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11730786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fixylol/pseuds/fixylol
Summary: Pearl wants to show Steven her cool creation.





	Wake up, Steven

Steven was sleeping peacefully on his bed. Amethyst was probably wrestling other humans and Garnet was off doing whatever. However Steven noticed recently that Pearl tended to get a bit weird during the night, and tonight was no different.  
The door crashed open and Pearl ran up the stairs to Steven's bed. "C'mon Steven you gotta... you gotta wake up" she mumbled before collapsing on the floor, drink in hand.  
"What do you want Pearl, it's the middle of the night." Steven responded as Pearl managed to lift herself off of the ground, spilling her drink all over Steven in the process.  
"I have a surprise... a surprise ready for you c'mon" Pearl said, yanking Steven out of his bed and out the door, off to wherever.

Pearl let go of Steven when they were at the barn, and Steven got a look at Pearl's latest creation. It looked like a generic UFO with 2 trash cans duct-taped to the side and a sail lazily glued onto the back.  
"What do ya... what do ya think of this Steven?" Pearl said, clearly proud of her work, while sipping the last of her drink.  
"It's pretty cool Pearl... wait weren't these part of Peridot's art things?" Steven said.  
"Nah don't worry it's... it's fine with them" Pearl said, pointing to 2 bubbled gems at the back of her flying machine.  
"You poofed them?" Steven yelled out in response to seeing Lapis and Peridot in bubbles.  
"Don't worry Steven, they're... they're gonna be fine Steven..." Pearl said, grabbing Steven and shoving him in the passenger's seat.

Before Steven knew it, they were up in the air.  
"So why did you bring me up here anyways?" Steven asked, slightly concerned as there was a slight crack on Peridot's gem and a large black box marked "BOMB" below it.  
"Steven... I had to... I had to do... I had to make a bomb Steven" Pearl said.  
"A BOMB?"  
"Yeah we're gonna drop it down there and get a... get a whole fresh start..."  
"That's absolutely insane! You can't do that!"  
"Come on Steven just take it easy, it's gonna be good. Right now we're gonna pick up your friend Connie."  
"Connie?"  
"When I drop the bomb, I want to..." Pearl paused to take a drink. "I want you to have somebody- y'know I want you to have the thing. It'll be like the new Adam and Eve, and you're gonna be Adam, and Connie's gonna be Eve."  
"NO YOU CAN'T-"  
Pearl covered Steven's mouth with her finger.  
"Shh... you don't gotta... you don't gotta worry about me fooling around with her, she's- she's all for you."  
"What are you talking about, Pearl?"  
"You don't worry about me getting Connie, I'm not that kind of gem"  
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT CONNIE, Y-Y-YOU-"  
"Y'know what you're right let's forget the girl all together, she's probably nothing but trouble anyways" Pearl threw her now empty bottle behind her and pressed some buttons to active the bomb.  
"That's it Pearl, I'm taking the wheel!"  
Steven undid his seatbelt and started pushing Pearl away from the steering wheel. After a few seconds, he was victorious.  
"Fine I'll land... I'll land the thing. Big tough guy all of a sudden." Pearl mumbled.

The car landed somewhere in the middle of the desert, with a loud THUD. Pearl then opened the door and a ton of bottles fell out, her sliding down them.

"Y'know what, that was aaaalll a test Steven. Just an elaborate... test to make you more assertive." Pearl said, summoning her flask from her gem.  
"It was?"  
"Sure why not, Idunno. Y'know what, Stev-" She spontaneously fell asleep, snoring loudly.  
'NEUTRINO BOMB ARMED' Steven heard the car say, followed by increasingly loud beeps.  
"Umm..."


End file.
